Warning: Proximity to me causes adventures. (karnythia) wrote in realchickspeak,
Warning: Proximity to me causes adventures.
karnythia
realchickspeak

*headdesk*

p_dilla and I went to OHOP for breakfast this morning. Lots of yummy food and that overfull sleepy feeling resulted. When we got on the bus to go home I was pretty much expecting to struggle to stay awake. That was indeed how it worked until we were about halfway home. Then three teenage girls got on the bus, one of them pushing a stroller. They sat right next to us and started talking away. Initially I was trying to tune them out because they were getting on my nerves with lots of talk about who was dating who, and who had been cheating on who and the fights that have resulted. One of them went on a whole riff about their adult ed night classes and how they were "jumping" (but no mention of actually learning anything) and there's a lot of talk about the guys that they're dating. The guys all sound like they've been sleeping with the same circle of girls over and over and have managed to mistreat every single girl. They talk about these guys stealing, cheating, hitting various partners, selling drugs. In short they have no respect for women. It's like teenage misogyny on parade. Then they start talking about needing to go to the courthouse, and two of them start talking their paternity situations.

The one pushing the stroller is also pregnant (though not by the same guy that made the kid in the stroller) and the other girl had a child with a guy who is by all accounts a complete psycho. Her son died from some illness (she didn't say what, just that the doctor screwed up) and she was on her way to the courthouse to get parental termination papers so that when they sued for malpractice the crazy man couldn't benefit. My mind was already boggled by the first half of the conversation, but when she started talking about the fact that the father hadn't acknowledged the child and wasn't on the birth certificate, my inner lawyer to be made me interject and point out that her plan of not telling him about the lawsuit in order to get him to sign the termination papers was a bad idea. We talked for a few minutes and while I have no idea if she'll take my advice the thing that saddened me most about the conversation was the fact that none of these girls were more than maybe 16. Only the one girl seemed to have avoided becoming a mother, and the one with the stroller was on kiddo #2 with the older child still being denied by his father.

The two with kids were too young and undereducated to understand the concepts I explained, much less the vagaries of child custody and support. For that matter listening to the descriptions of these guys, they had too little self esteem to even recognize that someone with 3 babies by 3 different girls that took responsibility for none of the children wasn't at all a good catch. The fact that all the unprotected sex made them prime targets for a host of STD's? Never even entered their minds. Comprehensive sex ed is a start, but they need so much more than just that. p_dilla and I had already planned on mentoring after we went back to the Chi, but I feel like there needs to be something more I can do. I just have no idea what that is, or how this trend is so prevalent. Feminism is supposed to have alleviated so many problems facing women, but I look at these girls and I see that all that's happened is that the things that used to go on behind closed doors are now public.
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